#last night too and anyway i cant help but wish that one i had had male friends leading up to this point but i also wish something couldve

[lemongogo]

college … wasted on the youth (me)

[f1owermoon]

sorry i just. need to rant for a second

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

We meet again | In-ho x Fem!Reader | PT4

Summary: It was only one night for fun, you never thought you would see him again. Even less in a place like this one.

P1 P2 P3 END

Warnings: S2 Spoilers - Canon violence - Pregnant!Reader - Non canon background for In-ho - Use of (Y/N) - Heavy Angst - Protective!In-ho - Panic!Reader - grammar mistakes -

"You must be joking" Were your first words after listening to Gi-hun's plan. "Do you even know how many guards are out there? Or how prepared they are?"

After another round of voting things had ended in a tie. Not much time after it a fight had occurred inside the men bathroom. Gi-hun had said how most likely the ones who voted circles would attack the X group during lights out.

And while it scared you to no end, specially for your dear baby, his plan was still something your mind could not get. If they had all the power to make so many peopel vanish and also kill them off like it was nothing...what chance did they had against them?

In-ho who knew very well how much that plan would fail (even if he was not inside the games) was only worried over you.

Since the talk during the last game he had got protective. He was by your side, making you be behind him and having a protective grio on your arm or hand.

The rest did notice but no one commented a thing, besides it would only make the athmosphere uncomfortable.

Jun-hee was the only one who had asked you during one go to the restroom. She was not judging, her own baby's father was here after all. She was just curious on what was the story of you two. Why you two seemed to be so apart at the start and now were close.

"Its almost a story you would read on a book" Jun-hee said as you cleaned your hands and laughted.

"Barely, it all started as a one night thing. Then I was so stupid that I forgot the pill. We did not see each other for months and now...we are here"

"But he cares. He cares so much. Really I can see it on how he looks at you!! Even before the migle game"

"Yeah...I do care for him too. I want us to get out and try to live together or be a real couple..."

"Well, we may be able to leave but the plan of Seong..."

"Its crazy. We wont make it. I- I cant even help them"

"I cant either, only thing I can do its hide once the lights go off" Jun-hee tried to make you feel better. "Its better like that, we need to think not only for ourselfs but our babys"

"You are right, but Jun-ho wants to help..."

"You are worried for him" She indicated "Thats cute"

"And a pain, I wish he would have said no to that plan"

"Maybe he is thinking in you and the baby. Maybe he wants to leave really badly and sees no other way out"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Once you two returned the place seemed to be under lots of pressure. There was a tension, how some circles would look at Xs and back. It was unnerving and maybe even worse than the games themselfs.

"Can we talk?" In-ho came towards you "Alone" He added seeing Jun-hee besides you who nodded and went with the rest of the group.

In-ho moved so you two were away from everybody.

"Its this about Gi-hun's plan?" You asked and he nodded.

"Yes, it is. You should hide when the lights go off and not participate when we go for the guns" In-ho said in a serious tone. Even if the guards would never (if they liked their lives) put a hand on you unless he said so, the rest of the players were out of his control.

"I know, I cant do much anyways" You responded touching your belly "Why did you end saying yes ? We could win tomorrow ...."

In-ho took a deep breath. The reason were multiple ones. On one part this would be a good chance to get himself and you out from the games. If he did things right. And on other part he did not want to risk on tomorrow voting. Even if during the night Xs fought and lived nothing did for centrain said they would not vote circle next day.

"I believe in him" He lied "I understand its a dangerous move on our part, but I dont trust the others, not for tonight and not for tomorrow's voting"

You wanted to tell him to back off from it. You did not want to lose him in case the plan went wrong. But his next words shattered you.

"And I want you two out of here. Another game would cause you much stress, its not good for you our the baby...the little one has been strong so far but there is nothing like being safe and out of here"

When he said "little one" there was a small soft smile on his face, you could see how his hands wanted to reach and caress your belly once more but he held himself back.

"Hide well, I mean it. I dont trust any of them"

"I will, please dont worry about me"

Impossible. You and that baby are the most precious things to me right now.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

In-ho insisted on staying besides you when the lights went off. Just in case.

He had one hand wrapped around your waist and had pushed your head into his chest. He told you to close your eyes and ignore all of it, that if someone even dared to come near the bed where you two were hide then he would kill them. Of course he did not use these exact words in order not to scare you.

The screams of pain were terrible to hear, In-ho tried to shh you and tell you that it would soon end while also keeping a watchful eye.

Finally it was time, he kissed your cheeck on impulse and told you to not intervene. He went out just as the guards started to get inside the room.

You saw one coming towards him, but before it could even check the infamous chip inside his neck (as Gi-hun had explained earlier) he took them with force and in a clean move ended their life while also taking their gun.

The next was a small exchange of bullets and screams, the guards were finally leaving but one was left behind. Even if you saw them as nothing as monsters...their seemed scared.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

"Stay here, no matter what you hear. Stay here with Jun-hee. It will be safe" He assured you, like he knew more than what he was letting out.

"But what if you- what if something happens to you?" You asked him with tears already falling, not knowing that he would be safe.

It broke his heart to see you like that. So worried over him when there was nothing to be worried about. But he could not tell you, not here.

"Shh, I will be fine. I promise you" After a small pause he added "I promise both of you" His hand resting on your belly.

"In-ho, its time" Gi-hun said softly when he saw the exchange, part of him felt bad for interrumping the sweet moment. And was feeling guilty already, he knew he could not let In-ho die.

"Yes, on it"

"I love you, both of you" In-ho softly said finally leaving.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

The gunshots would be hear from the room, you flinched everytime, worried that one of these was mean for In-ho.

"Breath (Y/N)" Jun-hee reminded you when she saw you starting to panic. "They will be alright"

"Jun-hee...dont tell me things you can guarnate" You whispered hugging her and she just held you there. It was true, she could not be sure if they would make it.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

In his mind this part was supposed to be easy, trick Gi-hun into thinking that he and the rest had died. But it would mean making you believe that he was dead as well.

He pressed his lips on a thin line, worried over you and the baby. His little one. The only good thing was that he would be able to pull you out from the games but-

But you would have to believe that he was indeed dead.

"Take player 344 from the room, bring her to my room and call the Doctor too. Do not harm her" He ordered to one of his most trusted square guards.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Once more the guards entered, pulling everybody to their knees and demanding them to be under control.

You started to tremble not because of the imposed figure of a saqueare guard over you, saying something about you having to go back with them. Your mind was working on In-ho..was he? Was he really?

Jun-hee despite the protest of player 333 went towards you and the guard to try and keep you there saying how you had nothing to do with the attack. But the guard only pointed their gun to her, that broke your somehow dazed state.

"I will go, just let her be"

"No (Y/N)!" Jun-hee tried to go towards you but was held back by Player 333.

"Dont worry Jun-hee" You said giving her a sad smile.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

You had no idea where you were being taken. The guard did not say a word but also kept a slow peace like he was taking care over you.

You two made it a elevator, all black inside. The guard urged you inside and pushed some buttons till it started to move.

The doors opened revealing a dark corridor the guard guided you towards a big black door, he opened it revealing a big screen now turned off and a black couch. But there was another guard, however this was only had his face covered by the black fabric only his eyes were seen.

You took note of a few medical tools and you started to get nervous.

"Stay calm, I was told to check on your health and your baby, please sit here. We can move you to the bed to examine your baby"

Now you were confused, why check your health? What about Jun-hee?

"But there is another woman who-"

"I was only told to check on you. Please" He said tone incredible soft.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

After the examination the Guard (who told you he was a doctor) said that the baby was healthy, but that you needed rest and more food.

Both guards went to leave, but you stopped them.

"W-wait, im not going back?" You asked confused.

"Player 344, you have been eliminated from the games" Was the only response you got and were left alone in the dark room.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

"Sir, player 344 has been examinated and left in your room" The guard said to their Boss who just nodded back.

"I will be there soon"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Hours passed, you were scared. You stayied on the bed, too tired to move, this bed was too confortable too, and after listening to the Doctor's words you imagined this was good for your baby.

Even if you still felt bad.

You had been crying for the last hours, not beliving that In-ho could be dead, no in fact part of you refused to believe it.

And Jun-hee your friend...the one who was in the same desesperated situation as you. You could not believe she was still there...

Outside the door stood In-ho in his Front Man clothes, he was scared of your reaction, would he tell you it was him ? What was he supposed to do ?

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

The doors opened making a sound, you had fallend asleep after crying. One hand on your belly like you were protecting it even in your sleep.

In-ho felt his heart go down and up, the sight was...beautiful in a strange way. Why could things dont be easier? You could wait for him like this everyday, the three of you could live together and he would be such a good father.

His gloved hand went to touch your face, slowly tracing your cheeck. Your tears broke his heart.

Your eyes started to move, and he pushed himself away. Not wanting to scare you.

Once you finally woke up you saw a dark figured, a black mask, you moved away against the wall.

"W-who are you?" You tone was evident, you were scared and confused.

"Im the Front Man, player 344 you have been eliminated from the games and will be sent back"

"What? Wait, does this mean I-"

In-ho held up his hand dont wanting you to continue, things were already too difficult for him.

"Your situation was analyzed and so decided that you wont continue"

"But- there is another woman! Jun-hee, player 222, she needs to be out as well" You exclaimed getting up and going closer to him.

"Player 222 will continue in the games. Thats final"

"B-but why?"

"Should you not be happy for you and your baby?"

"Im, but im not a hearthless person, if I can get out because of my situation then she can too"

In-ho took a deep breath, he could not believe how even now you were thinking in others.

But he that was part of your charm as well...

"Its a final decision, besides you are soon to give birth. That was what the Doctor said, we cant let that happen in here"

Without thinking his gloved hand went to your belly, one more time, he needed to feel it just one more time-

"Dont touch me" You said in grith theeth taking his hand and pushing it away. In all honestly I hurted him more than any pain he had endured before.

"You are a monster, you- You keep the games going and let others die. You are nothing but a piece of shit"

In-ho knew you were nervous, scared, angry and much more. But your words cut deep, his soul breaking.

"You will be send back home soon. I recommend you dont try to talk about this to others. Nothing good will come from it" These were going to be his last words for you when he turned back.

"W-wait, player 001, In-ho...is he"

"Player 001 has been eliminated" Were his final words, he did not turn when he hear your cry, knowing he would not resist going back and comfort you.

No, instead he went away. Blocking your cries. Outside a guard stood still waiting for orders.

"Check on her, make sure she does not hurt herself and that she eats her food tonight. All of it"

A bittersweet goodbye

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Final note: An epilogue will be out !! 💜

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Tags:

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@love-you-louise @fantasylovestoryme @sleepyycatt @nightdark-dreamdark @lindsay00000 @ourlovesarang @smally97 @zigmasstuff @aleemendoz @the-disaster-in-waiting

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I could not tag some of you 😔

[lumosflairr]

Glimpse of Us - Harry Potter

summary: After Harry loses you, he uses Ginny as a last resort, simply passing time in her arms - but he cant help but think of you and wish it was you.

warnings: 18+ mdni!! mentions of sex, no smut. ANGST. cursing. Post War. All characters are 21+.

This fic is based off “Glimpse of Us” by Joji. Lyrics belong to him.

“She’d take the world off my shoulders / If it was ever hard to move”

…

Ginny made everything easier.

Harry never said that out loud — it felt like tempting fate — but it lived in the back of his mind like a quiet, grateful hum. When his chest grew tight from the press, when the world asked too much of him (and it always did), Ginny was there. A hand on his back. A cup of tea at the end of a long day. A joke at the perfect moment to remind him that he was still young. Still alive.

She fit into his world without forcing it. Their lives aligned — both of them used to attention they didn’t ask for, both of them war-weathered, both trying to find something soft in the wreckage.

Today, she pulled him from bed with gentle hands and a kiss to the jaw.

“Come on, Potter. Don’t make me late again,” she teased, already in his jumper, oversized and hanging loose on her frame.

He smiled. He always did with her.

“You’re the one who dragged me back to bed,” he countered, even as he followed her without resistance. His hand found hers automatically. It always did.

⸻

They sat together in the sunlit courtyard outside Flourish and Blotts, sharing a sandwich, her ankle hooked around his under the table. Ginny was radiant in the sunlight — red hair blazing like fire, laughter like windchimes. And Harry — he was still learning how to breathe in moments like this. Still learning how to exist without crisis clawing at his heels.

“You’re quiet,” she said, nudging him. “That brain of yours overthinking again?”

He shook his head. “Just tired.”

“Then let me be your rest.” She kissed his temple. And maybe, for a second, it was enough.

That night, she curled into his side, legs tangled, her breath soft against his collarbone. He traced patterns across her back — meaningless ones, just for the comfort of touching her.

He didn’t say it out loud, but the thought came again:

She made things easier. She made it bearable to be Harry Potter.

———

“She’d turn the rain to a rainbow / When I was living in the blue”

…

Rain drummed against the windows of Grimmauld Place. Harry hated this house — he always had — but Ginny had a way of making even its darkest corners feel tolerable.

She brought candles and color into every room. She painted the kitchen a soft green without asking. “It needed to stop looking like the inside of a cauldron,” she said with a wink, arms splattered in paint.

Harry watched her dance barefoot on the wood floors, music playing low from the wireless. She reached for him, spinning herself in his arms.

“You’re smiling,” she whispered.

“I must be sick,” he teased, voice dry. But he pulled her closer anyway.

Ginny grounded him in ways he hadn’t expected. She understood what it meant to carry pain. She’d lost Fred. She’d seen war. But she wore her grief like armor — polished, powerful. She didn’t crumble. She didn’t unravel. She rose.

Harry admired her for that. Maybe even envied her.

When his nightmares came, she’d hold him, strong and steady. When he forgot meals, she’d drag him out into the light. She refused to let him disappear into his own head.

“Not you,” she’d said once, cupping his face. “Not again.”

And Harry — tired, haunted, hollowed out by too much — let himself believe her.

They hosted dinners sometimes. Ginny laughed loud, told stories, filled the room with warmth. Harry sat beside her, hand resting on her knee, nodding at the right times, drinking slowly. He watched how easily she fit with everyone. How she shone.

She was good for him.

He told himself that often.

She’s good for me.

But sometimes, in the quiet that followed, when the guests had gone and the dishes were half-done, he would find himself watching her with a kind of desperate hope.

Waiting.

Searching.

———

“Why then, if she’s so perfect / Do I still wish that it was you?”

…

Ginny is everything Harry thought he needed.

She wakes up early just to make tea for them both. She reads his moods before he speaks. She knows when to joke and when to stay silent, when to pull him back from the edge without asking questions he won’t answer. She touches his shoulder when he tenses. She understands grief. She lost Fred. She knows pain.

She’s patient. She’s bright. She knows him. But every time Harry looks at her…

He wishes she were you.

It happens in the quiet first — in the gentle way she calls his name from across the kitchen. He looks up, and for half a second, he expects your voice. Softer, more uncertain. Rough from sleep. Like the way you used to say his name when you weren’t sure if he was still in love with you.

It happens again when she kisses his neck from behind.

Her lips are warm. Familiar. But his body tenses. He smiles through it, pretends to melt. But in his mind, he’s back in his old flat — yours, really — with your hands ghosting over his ribs, whispering things only he was allowed to hear.

You used to press your lips to the hollow of his throat and say,

“This is mine. Even if the rest of the world isn’t.”

And he believed you. He’d smile with you — really smiled. He’d kiss you and truly mean it.

They go to a Ministry gala together, and Ginny stuns in emerald green.

She walks into the room like she owns it — confident, poised, shining with a quiet kind of fire that should leave him breathless.

Everyone looks at her and sees perfection.

Harry looks at her and sees your silhouette in a dress two sizes too big, laughing at your own clumsiness, whispering how you hated crowds, how you only came to these things because he asked you to. You used to fidget with the rings on your fingers when you were anxious.

Ginny doesn’t wear rings. She never fidgets. She’s not you.

“She’s so kind. She’s so lovely. She’s everything you’d wish for…”

Is what he tells himself.

So why does he still want the one who he hurt? who he made leave?

They make love that night — slow, quiet, in the safety of clean sheets and warm arms. Ginny’s hands are steady. Her breathing is soft. She tells him she loves him, kisses his chest like it means something.

Harry stares up at the ceiling.

He tries to stay present. He really tries.

But he remembers your voice — raw and desperate — the last time you made love before it all fell apart. You kissed him like he was leaving. He kissed you like he didn’t know how to stay.

Because when Ginny holds his hand, it’s soft and sure —

but yours used to tremble.

Because when she says she loves him, he hears it clear, just not enough to care like he should —

but when you said it, his heart would skip.

Because Ginny gives him peace —

but you made him feel alive.

And now, every time he looks at Ginny…

He waits for it to be you. And it never is.

———

“Perfect don’t mean that it’s working / So what can I do?”

…

From the outside, it looked like everything was working. But inside, Harry was drifting — and no one seemed to notice except Ginny.

“You’re not here lately,” she said gently one night as they lay in bed, his back to her. “Even when you are.”

He didn’t turn. “Just tired.”

“You’re always tired, Harry.”

He closed his eyes.

He didn’t want to fight. He didn’t want to lie either. But what was he supposed to say?

“I see someone else every time I look at you”?

“I’m trying to fall in love with the wrong person because the right one left”?

They went out to dinner a few nights later — a restaurant you once dragged him to in Muggle London. He hadn’t realized where they were until they brought the menus and the waiter smiled like he remembered him.

Harry’s stomach sank.

He saw the corner booth where you once sat cross-legged, teasing him for ordering the same thing every time. You’d stolen a chip off his plate, smiled at him like it was the easiest thing in the world to love him.

You made him feel wanted. Real.

Now, he sat across from Ginny — her fingers lightly tapping the table, her eyes studying the menu — and all he could think about was whether or not you ever came back here.

He wondered if someone else sat across from you now. If you still ordered the pasta. If you still asked the waiter for extra napkins just because you were clumsy. If you smiled at anyone the way you used to smile at him.

He hoped not. He hoped so.

He didn’t know what he wanted anymore.

Ginny reached across the table for his hand. “Hey. Where’d you go just now?”

He gave her a faint smile. “Nowhere.”

And that was true. Because lately, nowhere was where he lived.

That night, he stood in the shower too long. Let the water burn his skin until it felt like punishment.

He leaned his forehead against the tile and whispered your name like a confession. Like a curse.

“What can I do?”

He had no answers. Just the memory of you holding him in the dark, promising that love didn’t have to hurt.

You had cried in his arms the night you left — not because you wanted to, but because he never asked you to stay.

He remembered you standing in the doorway, the sweater he loved swallowing your frame, your voice shaking as you said,

“I can’t keep being in love with someone who’s only halfway here.”

He hadn’t moved. Not until you were gone.

———

“When you’re out of sight / In my mind”

…

You hadn’t spoken in months.

No letters. No chance run-ins. No trace of you in his life — not physically, anyway.

But you never really left.

Harry saw you in fleeting reflections. In the way a girl on the street tucked her hair behind her ear. In the back of a bookshop you used to drag him into, where he swore he caught your laugh and turned too fast — heart racing — only to find someone else.

You weren’t there. But you were.

You were in the songs he skipped on the radio. In the way his favorite jumper stayed shoved in the back of his closet — the one you used to steal.

You were in the ache behind his smile when Ginny asked if he wanted sugar in his tea, and he said no, even though he used to like it the way you made it.

You were everywhere.

But never enough to hold.

Some nights, when it was quiet — when Ginny had gone to sleep and the house was still — he’d lie on the couch and think about your hands. Your voice. The way you looked at him like he was someone worth saving.

And every time he closed his eyes, he found you there.

Out of sight.

Still in his mind.

Always.

———

‘’Cause sometimes I look in her eyes / And that’s where I find a glimpse of us”

…

He didn’t mean to look.

He never does.

It always starts small — a flicker of movement, the tilt of her head, the way Ginny pulls her hair over her shoulder while she talks, and for a split second… it’s you.

It’s always you.

Just for a moment.

Just long enough to hurt.

Tonight, she’s straddling his hips in the dim light of their bedroom, her hands on his chest, kissing him like she means it. And he lets her — lets her press into him, pull him close, whisper his name with something close to devotion.

Her fingers tangle in his hair. Her lips move across his jaw.

And when he opens his eyes — hazy, breathless —

He swears it’s your face.

Your eyes.

Your weight on top of him, in his hands, in his heart.

It’s not you.

Of course it’s not.

Ginny pauses, breathing uneven. “What is it?”

He doesn’t answer. He can’t.

Because how do you explain that the person loving you is doing everything right — and you still want someone else?

He kisses her anyway. Harder, deeper. Maybe if he tries hard enough, he can forget your name. Maybe if he holds her tighter, the ghost in his chest will shut the fuck up.

But the more he kisses her, the more it feels wrong.

The more he remembers you — the way you used to cling to his shirt when you got overwhelmed.

The way you used to kiss him like he was something holy.

The way you used to whisper, “I see you, Harry.”

He flips them over, buries his face in her shoulder, closes his eyes.And suddenly he’s not in this bed at all. He’s in yours. Under your sheets. With your voice in his ear, saying please like it meant something.

Ginny touches his cheek when it’s over. “You okay?”

He lies. “Yeah.”

She falls asleep wrapped in his arms. Her heartbeat steady against his. Her warmth comforting. Familiar.

And yet, he stares at the ceiling, hollowed out, aching.

Because sometimes, when he looks in her eyes…

He finds a glimpse of you. And it fucking kills him.

———

“And I try to fall for her touch / But I’m thinking of the way it was”

…

She curls up next to him after a long day, hand sliding under his shirt, warm fingers resting just below his ribs.

He doesn’t flinch. He lets her. She’s soft. Steady.

But his body stays still.

Because her touch isn’t yours.

Yours was different. Not always gentle. Not always calm.

You touched him like you were trying to memorize him. Like you needed him.

Like you wanted him even when he didn’t know how to be wanted.

Ginny whispers something — maybe about dinner tomorrow with her parents, or maybe it’s about Quidditch — he isn’t sure. He’s nodding before he processes the words.

She kisses his jaw. He leans into it out of muscle memory.

He closes his eyes.

And he’s back there.

Back in your arms.

The fireplace crackling. Rain outside the window. Your legs tangled with his.

You were half-asleep, humming something under your breath. You always did that when you were at peace.

“Don’t go,” you murmured once, voice small in the dark.

He kissed your temple and said, “I won’t.”

But he did. Slowly. Quietly. Without meaning to.

And you let him.

Because you always knew he didn’t know how to stay.

He thinks of the way it was.

Of the way you argued with him when he shut you out. Of the way you loved him even when he didn’t ask for it.

Of the way you clung to his hand during the nightmares.

The way your lips trembled when you told him, “You don’t have to be strong with me.”

Ginny’s breathing shifts. She’s fallen asleep, fingers still resting over his chest — right above the place where your love used to live.

And Harry? He’s never felt more alone.

Because no matter how much he tries to fall for her touch… He’s thinking of you.

Of the way it was.

———

“Said I’m fine and said I moved on / I’m only here passing time in her arms”

…

“I’m fine, Hermione.”

“Just tired, Ron.”

“Work’s been rough, Gin.”

“I’m happy.”

That was the biggest lie of all.

Because Harry wasn’t fine.

He hadn’t been since the day you left with tears on your cheeks and your voice breaking as you said, “I hope she’s everything I wasn’t.”

You weren’t perfect. But you were his.

And he hadn’t let himself grieve you — not properly. He just replaced you with Ginny. She laughed. He smiled. And that was their routine now.

He was there. But only halfway. A ghost of the man she thought she had.

The ache was constant now — a dull, gnawing thing that lived in his bones. The guilt. The longing. The truth.

And finally, finally, he let himself say it.

“I’m only here because she’s not.”

The words left his mouth like a curse. He didn’t say them loud. Not even a whisper. But they echoed in the silence like a scream.

“I’m only here passing time in her arms.”

Because they weren’t yours.

Because no matter how close Ginny pulled him, it wasn’t enough.

No one held him like you did — like they meant it, even when he didn’t deserve it.

He remembered the way your hands shook when you touched his face the last time. How your fingers lingered, as if they knew it was the end.

“I’ll love you even when you don’t want me to.”

He should’ve begged you to stay. He should’ve fought for you.

Instead, he let you walk. Now, he was just existing in someone else’s arms — trying to survive a life he thought would be enough.

But it wasn’t.

Because the truth was… You were the love of his life.

And Ginny? She was the distraction from losing you.

———

“Hoping I’ll find / A glimpse of us”

…

He hadn’t meant to come here. Not really. But his feet carried him down that familiar path — past the little bookshop you used to drag him into, past the corner café where you always forgot your change, past the spot by the river where you first kissed him and said you thought you could fall in love with someone like him.

He hadn’t come here in years. It was too dangerous. Too much of you in every shadow.

But tonight, he was tired of running.

The bench was still there — old, a little rusted now, covered in moss at the legs.

You used to sit here on rainy days, knees pulled to your chest, your hand in his, even when he was brooding and quiet and locked in his head.

“You don’t have to say anything,” you said once, cheek resting on his shoulder. “Just be here with me.”

And he did.

Because with you, silence was enough.

He sits there now. Alone.

Hands clasped between his knees, eyes on the river, hoping — stupidly, desperately — that he might see you. That maybe you’d walk by, wearing that old coat with the frayed sleeves, hair tied up messily, a cup of tea in your hands.

Just one more glimpse.

Just enough to pretend you weren’t a ghost of a memory.

But the street stays empty.

Just like him.

He thinks of the first time he told you he loved you — under this very bench, during a storm, soaked to the skin. You laughed at him because he said it without thinking, in the middle of a stupid argument, and you just kissed him instead of answering.

“Say it again when you’re sure,” you whispered.

“I’m sure.”

“Then don’t lose me.”

He did.

And now he sees you in everything and everyone but never enough to reach.

He hears your voice in dreams. Smells your perfume in crowds. Looks for your face in strangers.

And every time he blinks, you disappear.

Ginny had asked him once, weeks ago, “Do you still love her?”

He hadn’t answered.

Because the truth was worse than yes.

The truth was: He never stopped.

“I hope you’re okay,” he whispers into the wind now, voice shaking. “I hope you found someone who—who doesn’t run from love. Who knows how to stay. Who doesn’t… doesn’t throw it away like I did.”

His eyes sting. He doesn’t blink.

“I’m sorry,” he adds. “God, I’m so—” His breath hitches. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be who you needed.”

“You were everything. And I ruined it.”

He stays until the streetlights flicker on.

Until the wind gets too cold.

Until the ache in his chest is the only thing that feels real.

And then he stands.

Walks back into the quiet, empty night.

Still hoping.

Maybe someday, somewhere—

He’ll find another glimpse of you.

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IK UR writING OTHER STUFF RN SO EEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS BUTTTTTTTTTT LIIKE I WANTED TO SHARE MY BRAINROT (idk if u do a/b/o so here's the warning my idea is weird and smutty and dark and if you don't like that or are uncomfortable please don't feel pressured to read further! I completely understand)

i cant get out the idea of being in an a/b/o universe where your rhysand's omega (but like in a pack way and you guys haven't done anything yet) and yk alphas are all about dominance and stuff so imagine one day you accidentally do something in front of cass and az and him like not obeying him to come to him when he asks and he just decides right then and there he needs to make u submit to him which leads to Rhys fucking u into submission Infront of azz and cass but like in a sweet 'i need u to obey me darling" way

anyways ur a great writer and I love ur werewolf works! hope my idea make u stay up at night thinking about it <333

I love getting fic requests! Sometimes I get too hyper focused on finishing a project that I forget to have fun with it and requests help get me out of my head, so send as many as you like! <3 (And yes this one literally kept me up last night thinking about it lmao)

-----

Claimed

Warnings: Possessive!Rhys, Dominate!Rhys, SMUT, Voyeurism, A/B/O dynamics.

--------

A blaring base rattles the windows, the cabin shaking under the heavy thrum of music from one of Azriel's club playlists. The sensual beat has the pack pushing the worn furniture in the living room up against the walls to make room for an impromptu dance floor. There's more than one pack here tonight, all cramming into the den for a monthly party that has an endless stream of booze and mirthroot that would put RIta's to shame. The pack likes to party and they don't like to do it alone.

Rhysand has rules in place of course. One: Visiting Alphas have to stay ten feet apart from each other, any hint of a fight equals immediate expulsion from this party and any other future event; usually this keeps the visiting packs in line--there are few places in Illyria that come with this much free booze and a chance for social climbing, they won't risk a misstep. Two: The upstairs bedrooms are off limits for everyone outside the pack; no one else's scent enters his domain. For it is his, and his alone. Don't let the fact that Azriel and Cassian are a rare pair of Alphas allowed to run with the pack fool you, the pack answers to Rhys and Rhys alone. And Third, and most important: Omegas are off limits.

You think he made this one specifically for you, and not just because Azriel had seemed surprised when it had been implemented, but because Rhys always made sure you were close by. You want a drink? Rhys grabs it from the fridge for you, making sure he's the only one that pops the lid off the bottle before it touches your hands. Want to dance? You have three acceptable partners: Amren, Mor, or Rhys. Cassian had asked you once, Rhys had nearly ripped out his throat in response. The poor Alpha had slept outside for a week afterwards.

Which would be an acceptable response if Rhys was your Alpha. If his claiming mark adorned your throat and you'd moved all your stuff into his room, getting your nest ready for your next heat. But he isn't. Yes, he'd found you in the Hewn City, about to be auctioned off like a breeding mare and saved you; had brought you into the pack and made you feel safe and welcome and cared for. All things you were a stranger to, especially without a price. He never asked anything of you. When that first heat had hit you he'd offered you some of his shirts to nest in and brought food and water to your door, but he'd never come in. Never touched you like you wished he would. He was the pack's Alpha, but he'd never claimed you as his Omega.

You've tried to make your peace with it, tried to tell yourself that he just doesn't want you like that, but then he comes up with these rules and gets defensive when anyone gets too close to you. It's infuriating! He can't have it both ways. Either he wants you as a pack mate, or he wants you as his mate. He can't have both.

You cannot take him trying to have both any longer! His scent drives you mad, makes the wolf within you whimper and preen, yearning to be touched and claimed and taken the way you sometimes think he wants to. Sometimes he looks at you like he plans to devour you whole and you'd happily lie down and bare your throat and body to him if only he would make a move.

You've decided tonight's the night. Your heat will be here soon enough. If he's not going to make a claim on you than he needs to let you find someone who will.

You know of course that it won't be Azriel or Cassian. They'd never dare make a move on you with Rhys as protective of you as he is. That doesn't mean you won't have a little fun with it.

You wait, let the night draw out, spending the first part tucked into Rhys's side like a good little Omega. He brings you cold beer whenever you ask, makes sure your part of every conversation he gets pulled into. Then you slip away to dance with Mor, the heavy thrum of the base a pulse that echoes in your veins as you sway and dance along with her. The Beta keeps her hands on your hips, always keeping a respectful gap between your bodies like she too is scared of what Rhys might do to her if she gets any closer. You feel his eyes on you like a brand the entire time.

You wait as long as possible to catch his eye, and feel yourself flush as that violet gaze drags over every inch of your body when you do. He takes his full lip between his teeth as he watches your hips sway to the beat. But he doesn't move away from the wall to come get you, just watches with laser focus to every movement your body makes.

You let him watch for awhile, intentionally shaking your ass when Mor spins you, or making sure you run your hands slowly over your chest when you know he's looking.

Still, he doesn't move to come get you.

So you move into the next phase of your plan. You're poking the beast by doing this. But you walk right up to where Azriel leans against the far wall, chatting animatedly with Cassian about some fight or another with as much confidence as you can muster.

"Need a new dance partner!" You declare.

Azriel shoots Cassian a look, dark brows raised underneath the thick curtain of onyx hair that falls into his face.

"You know the rules," Cassian says, waving a bottle in your face like a disapproving finger. "Go find Amren or Rhys."

You stick out your lower lip. "But I want to dance with you."

"How unfortunate, 'cause you're being summoned," Azriel retorts, gesturing with his chin to where Rhys stands in the kitchen, arms folded over his broad chest.

You can feel the disapproving glare from there, the heat in it making a shiver run down your spine. Rationally, you know that you should give up while you're ahead, but you need a decision to be made. You need to know if he wants you as badly as you want him.

You force yourself not to turn to look at him, your hands shaking as you say, "I don't see why he's being so intense about this. What's the harm? We're friends, aren't we?"

Azriel snorts in disbelief.

"Yes, we are friends," Cassian says tersely.

"Don't tell me you want something more than that, Cass?" You tease, batting your eyelashes at him with more confidence than you feel.

The Alpha's cheeks turn a bright shade of pink.

"You're his," Azriel says gruffly, leaving no room for an argument.

You push your hair off your shoulder, fingers brushing over your unmarked throat. "I don't see a claim anywhere, do you?"

"Now you've done it," Cassian mutters, pressing himself flat against the wall like the old wood might open up and swallow him.

You've lost sight of Rhys in your peripherals, so when his hand suddenly locks around your exposed throat and yanks, you're woefully unprepared. His body is hard and warm against your back as he pulls you flush against his chest, breath hot as he brings his lips to your ear.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" He growls.

You shiver under the dominance in his tone, under the sheer possessiveness in his touch. This is what you've wanted; this is what you've been waiting for.

"Just having a chat with the boys," you stutter. His hand is large enough that it encircles your throat like a necklace; he fits against you like it's right where he belongs.

"She asked us to dance," Azriel tattles and you shoot him a glare you don't really mean.

"You know the rules, Little One." His lips haven't left the spot next to your ear, mouth so close to where you want him to be. If he would only dip his head just a little and sink his fangs into your throat! He would be yours and you would be his and you would happily surrender to all these stupid rules if it meant you didn't have to question why he constantly left you in limbo about his feelings towards you.

"Maybe I just don't see the point to your stupid rules."

Cassian's eyes widen with a healthy enough dose of fear that your heart skips a beat in your chest.

His hand tightens just enough to make you gasp a little, a mirthless chuckle slipping past his lips. "What was that?"

"That's my queue to leave," Azriel says.

"No, stay. Want you here for this, Az," Rhys returns, but there is a lethal edge in his voice.

"Now, Darling, why don't you tell me exactly what you think about my stupid rules?"

You're in too deep now to get out of it. You swallow the lump in your throat, or try to, the pressure of his hand around your neck makes your head buzz. It's not like he hasn't let you cuddle up against him on the couch, hands tracing shapes into your skin, but he has never held you like this before. It's a heady sort of glee that fills your veins to finally have him touch you in a way that's more than casual. It makes thinking hard; makes that part of you that is so ready to submit rise to the surface. It is an effort to think past the white noise and find your voice. "I think..."

He knows your scent is changing, you can feel it in the way his chest presses into your back, body melding over yours. You're so damn tempted to rock your ass back into him, just to see what he would do to such brazen behavior.

"Go on, don't get shy now. You were so ready to bat those pretty little eyes at Cass a moment ago. Where'd all that attitude go, huh?" His hand slides up under your chin, tilting your head up so he can look at your face.

You're whole body trembles as you take him in, eyes so dark they're almost all pupil.

"Go on, say it." His voice is a deep, husky purr that makes your insides feel molten. The voice made for the gentle darkness of the bedroom, to be used as your bodies tangle in the sheets. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying not to think about the images that voice conjures, of all the things you would let him do to you if he asked in that tone.

You clench your thighs together unconsciously, trying to hide the sudden pool of wetness you feel spreading across your panties. He hasn't done anything at all, but you're so ready for him. So willing. You're practically shaking in his grip, your plans for the evening forgotten.

"I was just messing around," you mumble, confidence now lost. "Didn't mean it."

"Seemed like you meant it to me." He retorts. "Didn't it seem like she meant it, Az?"

"Sure did," he says.

You won't open your eyes to look at him, don't even want to think about how pathetic you look right now.

"Do you know what happens, when you break my rules, Omega?"

"I have an idea," you mutter.

"No," his breath dusts over your skin as his hand slides back down your throat, lips brushing over your jaw. It's not quite a kiss, but close enough that heat coils tight in your lower belly. "I don't think you have any idea what you've done."

A whimper slips out of you before you can bite it back down and that same mirthless chuckle rumbles through his chest as his lips dust over your throat. It's pure torture. Not the kiss you want but close enough to the real thing that you can pretend it is.

"Do you know why I have my rules in place?" He whispers.

"No," you whimper.

He nips teasingly at your earlobe. "To keep you safe. You know I want you to be safe, don't you, Darling?"

You'd nod if you could. "Mhm."

He scrapes his teeth along the tender skin beneath your jaw and you could honestly cry over how close he is to your scent glands, right where he needs to bite down to claim you.

"And there isn't an Alpha in here who hasn't thought about fucking you, you know that too, don't you?"

That's honestly news to you. If any of the visiting Alpha's had been paying you any attention, you hadn't noticed. None of them could compare to Rhys anyway.

"N-no," you stutter.

"See, that's why I had to make my rules," he continues, nose nuzzling against your scent gland now, taking in the smell of your budding arousal.

Now you're really shaking in his grip, thighs clenched so tightly together your muscles ache.

"Because I can't have anyone trying to take what's mine."

His. The heady swell of hope in your chest makes you just a bit bolder as you tilt your head back to try and look him in the eyes. This is what you'd been waiting for.

"But am I yours, Rhys?" You sound as small as you feel next to him.

His other hand has been pinning you in place by the hip, but it now trails slowly across your stomach, bunching up the minuscule skirts on your skin tight dress. His lips had been distracting, you don't notice until your flush with his hips just how hard he is behind you. His scent always feels overwhelming, but now it feels like the jasmine and citrus scent of him is seeping into your skin, trying to meld itself into your very being.

His hand drifts lower, parting your legs like there's no resistance, despite how hard you're still clenching them together. You let out a little gasp as his fingers glide over the embarrassing wet patch in your panties.

"You've always been mine," he growls. "From the moment I met you I knew."

The fact that Cassian and Azriel are watching does nothing to stop him from the slow, deliberate strokes he makes along your clothed core.

Pleasure licks it's way up your spine and you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to find something to ground yourself in. When you try to close your legs, he uses his knee to part them further, growling as he nips a warning to behave into your neck.

"Then why haven't..." coherent thought is becoming harder and harder the longer you remain in his grip. Cauldron you're going to slip into subspace embarrassingly fast at this rate, your base instincts taking over. "Haven't you claimed me?"

His tongue laves over your scent gland, lips sucking a bruise into your skin. "Wanted you to be comfortable," he murmmers into your skin. "Wanted it to be because you wanted me, not because you were about to go into heat, but now you've gone and made a mess of things, haven't you, Darling?"

"Didn't mean to," you whimper.

"Yes you did," Cassian points out.

Your audience is irrelevant as long as he keeps that pressure between your legs. You're fairly sure if he would pull his hand away now he would be able to see just how wet you really are.

"'m'sorry," you whimper, words jumbling as he applies a little more pressure. Your hips roll on their own accord, chasing the friction of his hands. Cauldron you could cum just like this.

"I don't think you've learned your lesson," he tuts, but he despite the threat you hear in his tone, his fingers doesn't stop moving, he doesn't try and stop you from grinding against his hand, even though he very well could. Perhaps he's always indulged you a little more than he should. "But you will."

"I'll be good, promise!" This position is torture! You can't roll over and expose your throat to him like you should, can't spread your legs and invite him to take whatever he wants from your body. You're at his mercy, chasing his hand like a horny teenager and it's all wrong and muddled in your head.

"We're not going to have this conversation about following my orders again, are we?" He asks.

"No," you assure as his thumb catches the edge of your panties and drags them to the side so he can finally touch you.

The hand holding your throat pulls away so suddenly you fall forward, hands darting out to catch the wall so you don't collapse. Neither Azriel nor Cassian move to catch you, though their eyes seem glued to where Rhys' hand is between your legs.

"No, what?" Rhys growls, the hand no longer holding your throat coming down hard against your ass.

You yelp, the sound just barely covered by the blaring music. The visiting packs still dance and party around you, but you can't focus on anything other than the stinging in your backside and the heat of Rhysand's body so close to yours.

"No, Alpha," you squeak.

His fingers pulls away from your core and you could cry from the loss, but the tears stinging your eyes are the least of your concerns as he slides your panties down your legs, leaving the damp fabric gathered at your ankles. Your dress isn't long enough to hide your exposed flesh, especially not when Rhys pushes the fabric up to your hips to land another well placed blow to your backside.

You bite down on your bottom lip to keep anyone from hearing you. "Say it like you mean it, Darling."

"Promise, I'll follow all your rules, Alpha!" You squeak.

Instead of another blow, he leans in close, the heat of his body seeping into yours as he presses a tender kiss beneath your jaw. "That's my, Omega."

You relax as you feel some of the tension slide from his body.

"And I know you'll keep that promise," he says in your ear. The music hides the sound of his zipper coming undone, but you feel the shift of him as he pulls away from you for a moment. "Because you know what happens when you obey me, don't you?"

He doesn't give you time to answer as he kicks your legs further apart. There's no time to think about it as the tip of his cock glides through the slick dripping down your thighs. Your mouth drops open, something between a moan and a squeak slipping past your lips as he pushes himself inside you. Your arms shake, hands firmly planted against the wall to try and maintain your balance. You try to rest your head against the worn wood, bracing yourself as he slides deeper and deeper inside you, but he grabs you by the throat again and pulls your head back so he can drag his teeth over your exposed throat.

You moan unabashedly now, the sound loud enough to be a scream.

He chuckles, the sound sweeter than the music shaking the house around. "Good Omegas get to cum."

You've lost count how many heats you've gone through over the years imagining how it would feel to have him inside you, none compare to this. Nothing, no toy, certainly not your own hands, could compare to the stretch of his thick length inside you. He takes you an inch at a time, lips nipping gently at your throat as he goes deeper than you thought possible.

"Fuck me," Cassian whispers, reminding you that he's there. "Look how she takes you."

You try to glance down at what they're seeing, but Rhys holds your chin in place, tutting disapprovingly in your ear when you try and fight him. "Now, now, just focus on me, yeah? This is as much a reminder to them that you're mine as it is to you."

He finally seats himself fully inside you, panting as he braces a hand against the wall to support himself. "Feel so good, Darling."

You lean your head back against his chest as he drags his hand down the wall to lace his fingers with yours, the gesture soft amidst the clear dominance in his every move. You're ready to surrender; you always have been but you've never been more aware of how naturally it comes to you until now.

"I'll be good," it's a chant, a prayer, chest heaving as you whimper and bare your throat best you can around his body as he leans over you. "I'll be your good Omega, promise!"

He pulls out tortuously slow, making sure you feel every inch of loss, until you're sure you'll feel empty forever. You're panting, breath rasping out of you, chest heaving as you babble and beg for him to come back, to fill you again. You think you might just promise anything to have him fully seated inside you again. Someone, you think it's Azriel, but you've lost the presence of mind to see either of the other males, laughs at your neediness. But Rhys merely kisses your throat tenderly before he slams himself back inside you.

You grip tightly to his hand, body jerking so quickly forward your chest brushes the wood of the wall.

He repeats the motion twice more, pleasure coiling tighter and tighter in your lower belly with each thrust.

"Rhys," you whimper.

"Gonna claim you later," he promises as your legs start to shake.

Heat licks up your spine, dances across your skin, you think you might be on fire with every bit of contact you have with his body. He is everywhere, filling all your senses.

"When we're alone and I can really take my time with you."

This isn't him taking his time? Your eyes roll back into your head, muscles tightening to the point of pain. He's so deep inside you, pace leisurely if not punishing. You can feel every thrust in your stomach, tip of his cock easily finding your cervix. You can barely breathe around each rough thrust back inside your dripping cunt.

"Please, Alpha," you whine. "Please, please!" You're so close.

He kisses beneath your jaw again, lips soft and gentle despite how he picks up his pace. "I think you've learned your lesson, Darling." His free hand slides down between your legs again, finding your clit with ease.

You squeeze your eyes shut as the coil in your belly tightens once more before it snaps entirely. You think you might be screaming his name, but you've lost control of your limbs, body going slack. His fingers leave your clit so he can catch you before you fall on your face, body limp as he pumps once, twice, three times more before his own release follows yours.

Even with all the white noise in your skull, the warmth of him inside you makes your base instincts preen. This is what you're made for; this is what you've been waiting months and months for.

You're caught between the wall and his chest, barely standing as he pulls himself out of you and hurriedly pulls his pants back up. "That's my girl!"

As soon as his zipper is back up, he's sweeping you into his arms, holding you close to his chest. "Did so good for me."

You nuzzle into his neck, dragging more of his scent over your skin, as if he hadn't already covered you in it.

"I take it this means you're not down to share?" Cassian asks, his voice sounding strained.

A growl rumbles through Rhys' chest. "I don't think you'll like my punishment for you quite as much as she did if you so much as look at her without my permission."

You giggle as you place a kiss to his throat. "Don't be such a grumpy Alpha, you know I only came over here because I wanted your attention."

"Mission accomplished," Azriel mutters.

Rhys kisses the tip of your nose as he leads you towards the stairs. "You could have just said so."

You find yourself grinning. All things considered, you're plan worked out flawlessly. "Where's the fun in that?"

[starreyblueberry]

Every time I think about Peri and Timmy a part of me breaks apart. I saw a fanart and some description about Peri and Timmy being like you wake up one day and your best friend is gone and it broke me cause actually imagine that.

You have been born because of a wish, something no child has done in thousands of years. He was beside the bed you were born in, Eyes filled with wonder. You would grab his finger while he cradles you in his arms, listening to him talk to you, looking at you as if you were his entire world. He would say the words I love you over and over, and you believed him. He was your first word, for a while. He was the only person you wanted to call out too, to reach out, and he was delighted to be there for you anytime you said his name. He would rush to your side and do whatever you needed. he helped teach you how to ride a bike, even if it was a human activity, you could fly with him anyway. you still wanted to do it with him though, cause it was Timmy!. he snuck you out late at night just to get you an extra sweet, and even if you could wish for it, you still wanted to do it with him. he picked you up from school with your mom and dad, talking to you about all the wacky antics and adventures he had with mom and dad. he helped you beat the last round of video games, teaching you the controls and secret hacks to beat the bosses properly. he hugged you when you felt like you had no one else. when you were the only kid fairy in a long, long time, he reminded you he would be there for you every single day. Every single birthday he was there to celebrate- make a cake with his bare hands and decorate his house just for you, it was always bliss with him.

Until you were 8. You were 8 years old when it was your older brothers birhday- 18. You were warned as the days came, but it felt so far, so impossible, that he had to go. he had to leave, and he could never see you again. He tried to find any- any loophole that could let him stay, Cosmo and Wanda looked everywhere in da rules, they hopped dimensions talked with other planets, had a case that could prove he was meant to be with his fairies forever, but he couldn't. No human could ever remember fairys, there were consequences that would affect everything outside of his family, he had to accept it. He could never say your name with such kindness again, He could never bring you to the ends of the galaxy again, he would never remember anything at all. You cry. You cry and cry and cry and think how cruel it is that you can never see your best friend again. You can never see your older brother ever again. He wouldn't remember carrying you, hugging you, tucking you before bed, he wouldn't remember birthdays, holidays, vacations, he wouldn't remember you. It felt worse then anything you've ever experienced, you barley could handle it at the time and still cant now. The only proof that he was in your life was your mere existence, your whole life was proof that Timmy Turner was your older brother, that he was Cosmo's and Wanda's godkid, and you would never forget that, no matter how much time has passed, no matter how many godkids go though the same cycle, you would always remember Timmy Turner.

[drdemonprince]

do you think it's worth it being nonbinary if you dont have like, body/physical dysphoria? Ive been identifying as nonbinary since i was 14 and when i was in high school it was great, i had my little liberal bubble queer friend group, and the rest of the school didnt pay much attention to me. My mom accepted me in the "i dont get it but whatever i dont want you to stop talking to me so i guess ill go along with it" sense, which while not perfect, its fine. But last september i started studying engineering and. Its really not going well. Like 85% of my classmates are straight guys and they range from thinking nonbinary people are cringe (and therefore they make fun of me when i walk by) to being extremely transphobic (im very scared of some of them.) And ive been trying to make friends with the girls in my class, and some of them are nice, but i can tell they also dont like that im nonbinary. One of them literally told me "i get that being a woman is hard, i dont like having periods or the ways guys look at me either, but you dont gain anything by denying yourself". So. I kind of think about that nearly every night now. Doubting whether im really nonbinary. And it really doesnt help knowing that basically every girl here either thinks that or just straight up thinks im gross and weird, ive literaly heard one of them go 'what is THAT doing in the womens' when i walked past her from the bathroom. I dont like going to class much.

Im thinking of detransisioning, i guess. I never started taking hormones (good luck getting those in eastern europe lol), so I could easily start looking like a cis girl again. These will be my coworkers and bosses, i cant live like this until i retire. i want to have fun uni experiences too. And ive been thinking so much lately about why im even doing this. Its just a few words that people call me by. Theres nonbinary people who use binary pronouns and pass as cis, i could be one of them and just not tell anyone that im actually nb. but on the other hand, it feels like im giving up on the trans community if i do this. Giving up on activism. Im sure im not the only one in this situation, if i detransition ill be letting them down completely. I dont want the next generation to be as fucked as this one. Also i came out very publicly to my entire class (i wanted to find other queer people to be friends with, i hoped that would do the trick maybe. I was so naive and stupid) and it will be so fucking humiliating to go back on that and im scared ill do all that and theyll keep treating me the same anyways because im already "tainted" by transness. So i would let so many people down for nothing.

The one other trans friend from my high school friend group solved this issue by paying more than ten fucking thousand euros per year to study in the netherlands btw. The exchange rate to our currency makes it somehow even worse than it sounds. Hes probably going to be able to start taking hormones before he gets his bachelors. I wish my mom was that rich :|

First of all, I want to say that I am so sorry anon that you are facing so much fucking exclusion and harassment. That kind of treatment pushes a lot of trans people into detransitioning, and it is brutal, and that this experience can happen to nonbinary people who are not on hormones but have otherwise transitioned is something that does not get acknowledged enough.

I can't tell you what you should do in your situation, because no outcome is great. But I think you might find some elements of this article from Kier Adrian Grey on ceasing their use of they/them pronouns (among the cis public!) interesting. They're an "ex anarchist" and a bit of an anti social justice dogma kinda person so I don't agree with them on many things, but I did like this point that they made:

"Hear me out: maybe the best way to understand they/them pronouns, within the context of a pluralistic democracy, is as a subcultural norm, a way for LGBT people to show respect for one another within our community. That sense of belonging I felt when I first found queer spaces was profound, and if using gender-neutral pronouns gives someone that gift, I am all for it. "But I do wonder if we are setting people up for hardship when we tell them that they should hope for, expect, or insist on they/them pronouns being used by everyone they encounter, and that they will be emotionally injured every time this fails to happen. In my thirteen years, misgendering was rarely malicious, and yet it still fed into a wounded identity and a suspicious worldview."

I don't think that what Kier has written about their experience applies to even most nonbinary people, and if taken too prescriptively by the wrong people it could be an awful dysphoria cope that leads a person to some pretty dark places. But! For someone whose feelings about it all are like Kier's, and whose life experiences have given them similar perspective, I think there is something to it. It's true that thinking a great deal about how one is gendered by others is crazy making and sometimes isolating, and if that's the sole way in which one's transness interfaces with the world, it's not always to the person's net benefit.

Here's the full piece:

I will say that based on all you had to say, anon, it would be a lot better for you if you could get around a lot of queer and trans people! What you're struggling with is not being seen and appreciated for who you are, and all the cis people undermining you are driving you crazy and making you doubt yourself. I'd MUCH prefer if you could find more local queer community or relocate if necessary to feel more appreciated as you are.

BUT if you find yourself resonating with this author's points and it feels like only being out to other trans and queer people would be good for you, that is okay to do. That isn't "detransitioning," it's being choosy about whom you trust. And many of us navigate those decisions. I'm not out as trans to everyone I meet! Most people just think I'm a cis guy. The big difference between you and me is that I have medically transitioned (and if you want to, I recommend ordering some hormones on India Mart!!!). You have some choices here about how much information you give to other people, how much you trust people who are incredibly ignorant, how much you will expose yourself to harm by making requests for treatment that might not happen, and how to build the community you need to survive this awful transphobic reality.

[antyslittleworld]

Sooo I got got by the writers curse yet again (*´-`) and I was unfortunately very sick the week before finals (ToT) but thankfully it passed (this was supposed to go out way earlier so im sorry for that) but anyways I've decided to write some little itadori headcannons!!! (*^_^*) I hope you enjoy!

Regressor! Yuji Itadori

🌙 Bed Time💤

⭐️ He’s one of the most energetic littles of all the Regressors at jujutsu tech so he would definitely be challenging to be put to bed or laid down for a nap if you don't know what your doing

💫 Nanami and Gojo always have the most luck with putting him to bed

⭐️ “But nanamiiii/gojooo im not tired…” is a regular thing for them to hear

💫 yuji isn't the type of little to cry about going to bed unless he’s especially upset or something wrong

⭐️ Yuji would definitely pout and whine but he would never throw a tantrum about sleeping usually

💫 He always whines that he’s not tired but as soon as someone reads him a story he’s sleep before they can finish it

⭐️ If he doesn't have his paci in his mouth he’ll suck on his thumb instead while being all cozy and curled up in his bed

💫 After Yuji goes to sleep Nanami or Gojo always takes his thumb out of his mouth and replaces it with a paci before kissing him on his forehead and wishing him goodnight even if he cant hear it through his light snores

⭐️ Yuji is a very heavy sleeper

💫 He could sleep through a curse apocalypse, the end of the world, and several car crashes

⭐️ But lets just hope no one wakes him up before he’s ready to be awake because he gets really fussy

💫 It doesn't last very long and all you have to do is distract him but when it does happen its bad

⭐️ If you wake him up too early there just might be tears, maybe more than just a few…

💫 But regardless Nanami and Gojo always knows how to fix him right up and wipe those tears away!

⭐️ He has so many super hero pajamas but his all time favorite ones are his Spiderman ones. He wears them almost every night

💫 Surprisingly little Yuji likes to have a routine for his bedtime

⭐️ Nanami loves the fact he likes having routine as much as him and it makes bedtime much much easier for the both of them

💫 Gojo doesn't mind the bedtime schedule, he finds it refreshing and calming he also finds that bedtime is easier with a routine

💫 Most times his bedtime routine is this

🌙 Playtime!! To help him get rid of his excess energy and make him more sleepy and also to let him have a bit more fun before its time to sleep

💤 Next is…

🌙 Picking out his pajamas! He loves this part of his nighttime routine, looking at his vast collection of superhero and cute boyish pajamas

💤 Then its…

🌙 Bath time! To wash off all the icky germs of the day so he's nice and clean and all ready for bed

💤 Almost time for bed so now lets…

🌙 Get a drink! Most times he goes with angel milk because its comforting and yummy with a slight sweetness but he also likes to have chocolate milk before bed

💤 And finally…

🌙 Story time! Before Nanami/Gojo reads for him they make sure he’s all comfy and cozy in bed. They pick one of the books from the mini library near his bed and read him a story until he falls asleep. His light snoring puts his caregiver at ease and they kiss his forehead and leave but not before turning the dim lights all the way off so Yuji can get all the sleep he needs

⭐️ “Goodnight little sunshine” Nanami or Gojo would whisper to him once he’s off the dream land

💫 He definitely has a tiger plush he cannot go to sleep without

⭐️ If yuji loses the plush before bedtime someone has to go on a wild goose chase to find it but it always ends up being in the most obvious or random places

💫 One time Megumi had to look for the plush and it was in the bath tub. What was it doing there? No one knows

⭐️ When all the first years are little gojo lets them have sleepovers. Those are the littles favorite nights especially Yuji

I hope you guys enjoy these little Yuji headcannons as much as I did!!! He has such a near and dear place in my heart I just love him so much! He's such a cute little silly silly (*≧∀≦*)!!! Also now that im done with finals and on winter break i’ll def be posting more and doing requests!! So feel free to send some in (o^^o)!

[magical-girl-coral]

hello Boy....

i wish you would write a fic where it is ivy and adaine. and they are arguing (miscommunication i cant. think of words rn but its like uh yk how we made them both aro and then misscomunicate ab that. yeah. YEAHHHHHHHHHHH.)

its friday which means i finally have time for lesbian, baby!

(got slightly nsfw as i wrote this. oopsy daisy)

Ivy woke up from sunlight sneaking its way through the curtains, reaching out to the girl lying beside her out of instinct. Adaine's face was once again facing against her towards the window, so all Ivy was able to grab onto were her golden locks set against the pillows, her form just out of reach.

Ivy swallowed a lump in her throat and got up to shower.

As she cleaned last night's activities off her skin, she couldn't help but wonder where the fuck they are suppose to go after this. They've been fuck buddies for months now, but how long will that last? Adaine might find someone soon she can actually communicate with. Who she'll go on real dates with, and laugh with and might have a life she actually wants with marriage and kids and the whole nine yards. Ivy doesn't want any of that. So what is she supposed to be now?

Ivy thought of asking Oisin for advice since his relationship with Fabian has been going smoothly and immediately slammed her head against the bathroom tiles. It's already bad enough she's stuck in this fuck buddies situation, she doesn't need to lower herself even more by asking her best friend and his boy toy for help.

She sighed, turned off the shower and toweled herself as she entered the bedroom again.

Adaine was already dressed when Ivy came back. Her hair was put up in a high ponytail and her shirt had a low collar, showing off all the hickeys Ivy gave her last night.

Usually that sight feels Ivy with pride. Now she just feels like she ruined something beautiful for the rest of the world. "Don't you wanna shower before going off? We did wear each other out good last night."

"I already showered," Adaine said, not looking Ivy in the eye. "I had a nightmare last night from a vision, so I decided to get up and clean up if I was already awake."

Ivy frowned. "And you didn't think to wake me up? I know how bad they can get, I could have helped you through it."

Adaine continued to avoid Ivy's standing by the doorway as she put on her jacket. "Why bother? They go away quickly enough and you need the rest. I know how to deal with them on my own."

"But you were not on your own," Ivy argued back. "I was right here and right next to you. I could have done something!"

"Whatever," Adaine said, shrugging her shoulders. "It's not like we have that kind of relationship anyway."

That made Ivy's shoulder tense anyway. "And what kind of relationship do we have exactly?"

"The kind where I don't bother you with stupid shit in the middle of the night," Adaine said, her temper flaring in her voice. "Why do you care all of a sudden? You were the one who said that giving names to what we have is a waste of time."

"Just because I want an undefined relationship doesn't mean I want you to suffer alone-!"

"I wasn't suffering! It was just a bad vision-"

"It wasn't just a bad vision. I know how much these hurt you. I'm not fucking blind Adaine!"

"Oh please, you're just making a big deal out of nothing," Adaine said with a scuff. "Can't you find other ways of being the hero right now?"

"So all those migraine pills you keep around are what? Just for show?" Ivy asked, knowing she shot low. "And why not bring up your new glasses. I bet you missed my clitoris on purpose and not because you can't see for shit anymore!"

Adaine's face was red now. Oh no. "Like you're one to fucking talk! I see how you need to take breaks when your chest flair takes off and your tits are too sensitive to do anything with them. And let's not mention how you see my dad and Sandra Lynn more than me cause Porter left you this much fucked in the head!"

The room was silent as Adaine finished her screaming, her eyes widened the moment she was done, the errors of her words dawning on her a little too late.

She reached out to Ivy, an apology ready on her lips, but Ivy drew back before she could be touched.

Ivy grabbed her keys and walked towards the exit. "Fuck you, Abernant."

"Ivy-!"

Ivy slammed the door on her out, having stopped giving a shit about surrounding neighbors ages ago. She walked exactly five blocks, turned to a corner, and burst into tears. She called the only number she could start, and sobbed harder when he answered right away.

"Oisin, I think I really fucked it up this time. Can we meet up at Basrar's?"

[th3lightyougaveme]

jontim lyrical analysis of "that’s enough, let’s get you home" by will wood undercut

(sharing my thoughts and feelings. again)

“My dream girl, those eyes, that nose.”

just. jon talking about tim. SURE he may not have had a crush on him but like. imagine:(

“My private inside joke, sign the cast on my funny bone.”

stretching a little, but tim brought out the humor in jon during their research days. once their relationship soured, jon lost a lot of his need for that humor.

“Floral sheets on long-given-up ghosts. Haunt my bedroom at night and say ‘Let’s get you home.’”

‘long-given-up ghosts’ is in reference to their past friendship to me. jon has given up on the chance of getting those days back and has tried to accommodate by stuffing those memories away. those memories still haunt his dreams though. times where he had a friend in all of this. a friend he chose to push away in spite of how tim wouldve helped.

“They say ‘Grow up, be a man, ‘cause until then, you’re nothing but a short-haired girl.’”

TIM YELLING AT JON TO ACTUALLY DO HIS FUCKING JOB. i WISH tim had told jon to grow up in canon. i dont remember if he did but if he did. show me where pretty ple

“But come and Braille-palm-read and hold my hand, see my reason and ‘Goodbye cruel world.’”

jon trying to apologize still. jon trying to explain what he did and have tim understand. and of course the ‘goodbye cruel world’ is tim sacrificing himself.

“And oh my God, what’s wrong with me? And the wife of Walter Keane, whose name right now’s escaping me.”

obviously this is just jon getting scared over how tight of a grip the beholding has on him. idunno maybe the last part is just a random fact he knew as a result or somethin.

“That’s right, Margaret. Dream girl, come, and sweep me off my knees. I’d rather stay asleep than never see you wake up next to me.”

‘im not losing you as well!’ yeah. that line just about sums it up.

“Neon lights like heat lamps in the cold. To incubate the shadows you can’t stitch back to your soles.”

ONCE AGAIN. jon and tim recognizing they can never get back to where they started. i like to think tim clings to those memories of better times unlike jon. ‘incubate the shadows you cant stitch back to your soles’ in reference to tim doing just that. holding those days close to his heart but knowing hell never get them back.

“And you seemed fine just a few days ago, but CO2 and fish tanks do enough to get you home.”

jon referring to tims sudden anger outbursts. recognizing how tim has gotten far too used to the things going down at the archives. specifically the co2 bit.

“Well, now you swear in your prayers telling time, ‘Promise I’ll never have fun again. If you’d stop flying,’”

tim getting mad at jon for him constantly running away from the archives and his problems. BRO TIM LITERALLY JUST WANTS HIM TO DO HIS JOB. ithink the last line can also be seen as tim being slightly happier in jons absence.

“But then you start crying ‘Never mind, you win.’”

‘you know what? you’re actually right. you’re the only one.’ <- sums it up. you get it

“And far too late came far too soon. And the love you never made became the things you'd never do.”

once again them mourning what they once had and what they mightve ended up with. this time with the whole theme of tim ‘never’ doing certain things. his literal last words to jon start with ‘i dont forgive you’

“Oh, sweet Mary. Dream girl, come, but keep your hands off me. Go on back to bed my love, I mean, that’s where dreams are supposed to be.”

jon sending tim and martin home that one time when he knew he was about to do something dangerous. god i just looked back at my notes for that and he didnt have to do that. he really didnt have to. martin and tim sortve leave him alone for the most part anyways. he didnt need to try and convince them to leave

“But come and Braille-palm-read, hold my hands and you’ll see that it’s me who cries mercy while your fingers curl.”

jon begging for tim to be nicer with him. i dunno i just picture tim going to punch jon and jon frantically talking him down for this one. you get it

“And, oh, are you at all like me? Do you know what I mean? Or am I too close to see? Someone, anyone?”

i see this as jon asking for help far too late. him desperately trying to explain his situation to someone he used to trust but that someone no longer cares. that someone doesnt even look at him the same anymore, why would he listen?

“Of the two things we do on our knees, watch me fold my hands just to crack my knuckles. Well, here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors, see all the people. Alright, that’s enough, let’s get you home.”

AGAIN A STRETCH. but them entering the wax museum. ‘open the doors, see all the people’ in reference to the end of 118 where they do just that:) and ‘alright, that’s enough, let’s get you home’ is jon admitting defeat on tims survival. jon accepting that he is losing another person today whether he wants it or not.

[galaxycunt]

I Cant Keep Crying pt 1

Hello it’s me again. Angst/ smut/ etc etc under the cut

Part 2

You wish you could say you knew how you got here. You shared the same dream with every other pirate in the world. Your wide eyed idealism soon turned cynical, yet you remained on the sea. Your captain wasn’t the most fearsome, sticking to the East Blue was easy pickings. It worked for you, Buggy wasn’t the meanest boss you encountered. You knew how to stay on his good side, which helped.

After a particularly fun night, both of you good and drunk, he ended up between your legs. You decided you wanted to keep him there, as long as he’d let you. The way he looked at you made you think you had the final say in it no matter what.

He wasn’t ugly, but he also wasn’t the only pirate you let into your bed. You and him had a silent understanding, the sea was lonely. He was your captain, and you weren’t going to ask for special treatment. Whatever happened inside his cabin, stayed there.

“Fuck, I’m so close.”

You liked the way he looked under you, the feel of his cock inside you. Buggy massaged your nipples, biting your flesh everywhere. His hands found their way to your ass, forcing your hips to grind against him faster.

“Keep going, Buggy, fuck keep going.”

A groan caught in his throat as you came, flipping you over to find his own release. You were oversensitive, slapping the wall behind you. Buggy kissed your neck, spilling into you.

It was always quick and dirty, him pulling out slowly to grab his flask. You shared a drink while catching your breath, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

”My legs cant stop shaking,” you said with a laugh.

”Damn straight.”

He slapped your ass, making you laugh harder, “you’re funny.”

He turned you around to face him, planting a kiss on your lips. This was always your favorite part, especially if you got to stay the night. You traced patterns on his skin, him watching with a smile on his face.

“I found something from the last raid I think you might like.”

”Like what?”

He jerked his chin to a chest on his desk, “go look.”

You eyed him suspiciously, not really sure what to expect. You figured it’d be a gag gift, like the last one. It wasn’t your birthday yet, nor a holiday. He wasn’t one for gifting things anyway.

Inside was a necklace, a silver chain with a locket.

”Wow, thanks.”

He shrugged, “wasn’t worth too much. Thought it’d look great on you.”

”Well thanks, I love it,” you said, brushing off what he said.

“Put it on.”

The cool metal raised your skin, as well as the look he gave you from across the room. Slowly, you stalked over to him. Running a finger along his jaw, you kissed him again.

”Thanks, Captain.”

”If you really wanna thank me,” he motioned to his cock with a wink.

You honestly expected him to have a picture of it inside the damn locket. You decided to thank him anyway, not thinking too much into why the hell he gave you a gift in the first place. At least he apologized when cum got into your nostril. So gentlemanlike of him.

You cleaned each up other up with smiles before bed, Buggy always finding a way to keep touching you. You wanted to lie and say you were annoyed, or even apathetic about it. Your heart fluttered every time, relishing in this moment, because it was only you and him.

In the morning, Buggy always let you eat a meal with him. Ordering a crew mate to send breakfast in for the both of you. You were always shy, you didn’t need to know what they were saying about you to know they said anything about you.

Buggy fed you a biscuit, like you were lovers on a honeymoon. You could play pretend, you always did.

”There’s a nice place I heard about on this village, the booze is cheap as shit.”

”Hell yeah, I could use a night where my head is the only thing swaying around.”

He smiled, letting you linger as you readied for your daily tasks. You pretended to be busy as you watched him apply his makeup. You felt a little sad for him, like the clown persona wasn’t even a choice for him. Like it never was, but he wore it with pride. You admired him for that.

“Ready to face the day?”

Your name sounded so lovely on his lips.

”Of course, Buggy.”

He rewarded the crew with a night of partying, throwing berry around the crowded bar. The crew was only here a few days for a resupply, plenty of time to soak in the sights. You poured yourself a drink, trying to find him. You stood on your toes, searching for that bright orange hat amongst the crowd.

You finally spotted him, pushing your way to that hat like it was a beacon. You wanted to ask him why he gave you that locket you were still wearing, and what it meant to him.

”Heya Bug-“

You froze, witnessing his tongue being shoved down another person’s throat. One of the townies, of course they wouldn’t have a reason not to. Not like your crew mates, avoiding eye contact with you in embarrassment.

He noticed you staring, a smeared red smile on his face.

”What, what? Need more berry?” He turned to his newest hook up, “can’t say I’m not a generous captain, here you go baby, be merry!”

You crumpled the notes in your fist, rushing back towards the bar. Scanning the dark room, you couldn’t find a suitable replacement. One was found for you, a man with a nice smile whispering in your ear. You moved him to be within Buggy’s line of sight, kissing him sloppily.

You could scream, but instead pulling him out into the fresh air with force. You ran your arms over your clothes, looking for an ear. You couldn’t find one, tears on the verge of falling.

”Hey, did you see my captain looking at us when we left?”

The stranger shook his head, “I say you’re off the hook, babe.”

You nodded, deciding to take him then and there in that dark alleyway. You hoped Buggy would catch you, hoping for a reaction that could tell you what he didn’t want to say. Something besides what you didn’t want to hear.

After he got you off, you left him there to stumble on your separate ways. You only wanted to enter Buggy’s cabin, to throttle whoever he decided to bring home that night. It was beneath you, you been doing this long enough to know better.

Buggy ruined it, with that stupid locket. It wasn’t even just the locket, it was the special bottle he’ll save for you, the extra sweets on your birthday, the way he remembered whatever small detail you’d tell him.

He couldn’t belong to only you, he had a way to make anyone follow him to hell and back. He could treat people however he wanted, they wouldn’t leave him. He knew he had you hook, line, and sinker.

Instead of heading towards his bed, you entered the crew’s quarters. No one was there, you could scream and kick things around in private. It didn’t help anything, leaving you to nurse a sprained ankle and a hangover.

”Whoa there, what happened to you last night?” Buggy cornered you in the storage room, your hands sore from sharpening blades for hours.

”Had a little bit fun yourself, huh Captain?”

He laughed nervously, “what’s the point of plundering if you can’t enjoy the spoils?”

”Yeah, your little friend last night seemed pretty nice.”

He ignored the comment, “where’s that necklace, you lose it already?”

”I didn’t wanna wear it today,” you said flatly.

He only nodded, taking blades from the finished pile. Buggy half heartedly checked stock, glancing every so often if your direction until you left.

You figured you were hormonal, or maybe even just coming down with a cold. Something was to blame for you suddenly caring. You haven’t been on land in months, you forgot how things worked between you two. That had to be it.

”Captain wants to speak to you.”

You could handle whatever he wanted to throw at you.

He opened the door with a smile, pushing you inside. He handed you a pile of clothes, things to be mended.

”Is that all from you?”

”Ah, no. I remembered a long time ago, a certain member of my merry band of freaks liked playing the accordion. So…”

”Uh, wow. Thanks, Captain.”

”Figured all those shanties needed some accompaniment.”

You tilted your head, “why?”

He blushed, “do I need one?”

He was trying to buy you off. He looked at you like he was expecting something, his hands floated to your body, tugging at your clothes. Hands that touched someone else, but you couldn’t cry about that. You did it too.

”Seems like you have a reason in mind, Bug.”

He nodded, stripping you bare.

“I’m a big fan of every noise coming out of your mouth.”

You let him fuck you, you not being able to get that night out of your mind. His mouth is on your pussy, determined to make you his.

“Stop, stop.”

”What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, “I can’t fucking do this anymore.”

You expected him to beg, to plead for you to stay. A promise or two about changing, that it was only you.

Instead he yelled, “fine! See if I care! Fucking go!”

He threw your clothes at you, refusing to even look at you. When you were taking too long, he shoved you out the door, shirt still unbuttoned, leaving you exposed. Before closing it, he threw costumes and the accordion out into the hallway.

”This shit better be done by tonight or I’ll have your head on a platter.”

The accordion was in pieces, you attempted to pick it up before he screamed at you to go. Leaving Buggy and anyone around to stare at the broken mess on the floor.

You hid from the crew the rest of the day, tearfully mending each item. While everyone went out to party, you left the costumes by the door. He wasn’t there, expecting you to leave them somewhere while he went out himself. You knew he was going to bring someone else back to his bed.

As you set the costumes down, you noticed the accordion in the trash, you carefully held it in your hands. It should be an easy fix, at least until Buggy decides you didn’t deserve it back.

With a sigh, you worked on the instrument alone on the deck. Watching the life on shore from afar. The tears blurred your work, feeling stupid for leaving Buggy. Shit, you felt stupid for even thinking a captain like him would even care about an underling like you.

It was getting late, and you fixed the accordion the best you could. Testing it out with a soft song, you choked on a sob. Buggy walked across the deck, another lover around his arm. He glanced at you briefly, his expression hard to read in the dark.

[diristine]

Some childhood Glass headcanons to end my day before I sleep! Yknow, one last little gift and hopefully I can post the silly comic tomorrow and then draw more of our beloved psychologist.

WARNING FOR 4231 INSINUATIONS, MENTIONS, AND REFERENCES (none of the s/a mentioned but be aware)

Simon grew up in Massachusetts, his immediate family all have severe Boston accents that he has learned to hide. Except when he’s really pissed then you’ll be able to hear that accent shine through.

His family was pretty anomalous, between Francis having a third pupil in his eye to Simon’s twin having been a medium. All small and easily concealable anomalies, but they were careful to not let too much of it show.

Simon’s twin’s name was Skylar Glass! The two of them used to be identical twins, both blue eyed, blonde hair, freckles all over!

The Glass family was fairly large, though they continued to live in one home all together until the kiddos moved out.

He grew up sharing a room with all of the girls until he came out and was allowed to stay with the boys eventually. He took Francis’ old bed as his own.

Simon grew up homeschooled until they figured out he was somehow non-anomalous. Then the kid was sent to public school by his own request, where he joined Theater and found his love for acting and music!

His family cared for chickens, bees, goats, and had a large garden. They lived in a fairly secluded area so all the animals and messes, granted it was a smaller rural area anyways. So nobody minded the eggs the Glass family passed out when their hens laid too many.

He was bullied at school a lot, between being trans and from the “weird family” but he never told anyone. Simon was so desperate for human connection and theater he kept his abuse to himself.

Simon did in fact call the cops on a few parties out of pure spite, and sat on the curb across the road eating popcorn and watching the show. He made sure to stay out of site from the other students so nobody knew it was him who did so. Either way, he only really called the cops on the parties his bullies hosted, it was more fun that way.

His sister died when they were both 9, and Francis ran off with his girlfriend when he was 8. He lost his two closest family members close to the same year. It was the sadness he gained from that which caused him to want to help sad lonely people.

Skylar died of acute Leukemia. Doctors tried to save her, but the cancer progressed too fast. Simon promised to her on her death bed he’d stay alive and do cool stuff so she cant haunt him and see all the cool stuff. Like skydiving.

He was a picky eater as a kid, he’s gotten better as he’s grown but Simon refused to eat his greens.

Simon has always asked a lot of questions as a kiddo!! He was so curious about anything and everything, to where whenever Francis babysat him, he would bother Francis about it. If Francis didn’t answer he’d simply go to Lilly! She was always super nice, with her flowers and hooves and that smile!

He wishes he killed Lilly when he had the chance. So that his cousin didn’t have to become what he is today.

He sometimes got scared at night and crawled into Skylar’s bed to cuddle her or ran to Francis. Simon could always rely on his cousin, who would hold him and tell him stories of stars and magic. He remembers how Francis would make the milky way appear on the ceiling and made the shadows move like puppets across the walls. Simon always felt safe with Francis.

When Francis left, Simon was devastated. He went to the woods, to the park, everywhere. Calling Francis’ name. He kept putting up missing posters well into his teenage years, when he finally stopped. If only he paid closer attention to the occasional passerby, he may have spotted familiar eyes.

Wow. That got depressing. Im not sorry. Not in the slightest.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

my fullmoon dream ended up being a somewhat dense one in a continuation of my dream timeline

There's this person, who was my friend but it ended badly, a few years ago. And i didnt really understand what happened it was very confusing to me, i didnt really have any power in the situation, it was only this past year i learned of the way all these strings were being pulled behind my back, which helped me understand why that situation occurred, why there was so much resentment directed towards me when i was trying so hard to just exist and keep the friendship simple + lighthearted. Like basically it was just sabotaged which has been kind of hard for me to accept even with finally knowing how it was sabotaged, it was all so unnecessary and i just wish i knew sooner.

over the past 2 or so years ive had a recurring dream scenario where I run into this person. i always write them on here too. Sometimes we apologize to each other, sometimes we dont really speak at all, but theres always this vibe of like, "Things are cool between us now, its Ok." And its a very relieving feeling, in the dreams. its almost exciting, like wow, we can be friends again??! The thing i find most interesting about it is that even though i lost a LOT of friends in the past few years through the same source of sabotage, this is the only person i have these dreams about. I guess we were pretty close for a while but still its interesting no one else comes up in this way.

Anyways. in the dream last night(this morning), it was kind of different... it was really emotional?? usually its never that emotional, usually we dont even say much. but in this dream today, they were crying, they were so earnestly apologetic, talking about how they regret the ways they treated me, and missed being my friend so much. And i cried too because it felt so good to hear it, i apologized for the messy ways i responded to the situation because i didnt get it at the time i thought i was going crazy.. And we were like holy shit we can finally just be friends again.. This is amazing..

as the conversation closed i woke up, i had a moment of being like woahh, that just happened, all the feelings and imagery of it cemented into my conscious mind. THEN, i fell BACK asleep, to the exact same dream!! it just continued. I went and did some other things, i got a job at this weird childrens entertainment center where i was dressed in a panda costume dancing for children. But it was the exact same setting, they were still sitting in the same spot close by, and in the dream i kept having flashes of relief thinking like "omg we're friends again i cant wait to catch up and talk more once im off work"

i feel my body woke me up from that conversation to make sure i really claearly remember that part of the dream before it continued on. I havent had a dream-wakeup-backtosamedream happen in quite a while but i always regard it as an extra significant dream when i do,... also its the full moon

i never know what to do after these dreams like do i reach out? honestly this person kind of intimidates me so i never know. Like i cAnt imagine in reality they miss being my friend that much. But they are pretty sentimental deep down, so maybe. Its just a difficult situation where I was never the one with any of the power, So it feels strange to instigate contact. Like how it happened in the dream, it would only really make sense if they said something first. Maybe these dreams are just meant to bring about some psychic closure that i'm not likely to ever receive irl. Its always very confusing to wake up from lol. I would like to feel that relief for real..

But at the end of the day im satisfied with my life and the friends I have now, so its not a big deal. Just stuff thats buried. I swear its always full moons when i dream about them lol! We have the same moon sign, in astrology, i wonder if thats something to do with it. We always had a lot of weird almost creepy synchronizations in our personalities. Oh well

[knowltonsrangers]

theoretically pt.5

TURN!Benjamin Tallmadge x F!reader

part one , part two , part three , part four

The light of the candle isn’t what has been keeping you up, but it isn’t necessarily helping your venture on attempting to get some rest.

Your cheek firmly pressed against your crossed arms, you stare absentmindedly at Benjamin’s back, watching the way his shoulders tense with annoyance as he has to scribble out words of his official report, then begin the sentence again.

Your eyes follow to his desk, absolutely littered with letters and maps, enough that you squint to attempt a better glance at their words and images.

If he had any idea that you were awake, he simply ignored the fact.

Part of you was raked with guilt, weighed down by the idea that most of this was entirely your fault with little way to fix the problem.

You wanted to stay irate, remain bitter at the fact it wasn’t he who was stuck here with you, it was you who was stuck here with him.

Yet, if anything, your resentful attitude did nothing to aid your cause, so maybe you could stand to be a bit nicer to the man who did nothing to harm you just yet.

“Cant sleep?”

It startles you, your eyes bouncing around the tent, surprised that he had moved from his desk without as much as a sound.

You must’ve zoned out, for him to have now be seated at the end of the cot, arms across his chest as he stares down at you.

“Sorry, I did not intend to startle you.”

“No…it’s okay. And yeah, I can’t sleep. Something like that.”

“Something on your mind?”

“No. Today just wore me out.”

You watch him warily, your cheek returning to your arm as you now stare at the wall of the tent.

“I was pleased with how you spoke to the General, at least.”

His words are soft, almost a whisper, still looking at you, as if there was something more he wished to ask.

“I did okay?”

The validation was not expected, but extremely comforting, finally daring to move onto your back so you could properly speak to him.

“Besides your ramblings, sure.”

“Thanks.”

Ben expected you to bite back, some comment about his teasing, but all you do is feel the waves of relief wash over you in droves.

“I ran your name, and as far as I know, not a soul knows of you.”

“Unless a relative is walking around, I doubt anyone would. A last name may match, but my full name, no one.”

He hums, fingers tapping against his arms, the words rolling around on his tongue for a moment before they come out of his mouth.

“The dress annoyed you so much? I thought you looked very nice,”

The candlelight does little to help hide the twinge of red that blossoms on your cheeks.

“Let’s just say I appreciated you keeping these around.”

You gesture to your t-shirt and joggers.

“Well, you look nice in those too. If that happens to be standard for your time.”

You snort.

“No, this would be considered sleepwear, probably because that’s what I was doing when I woke up here.”

Ben seems mildly interested in this, scooting a little closer to you, so you sit up and draw your knees to your chest so he can sit next to you on the cot.

“I think I owe you an apology, Major.”

Solemnly, your gaze lowers to the white sheet, wrinkling your nose in defeat.

“Whatever for, y/n?”

“Besides…our first encounter, you’ve been nothing but nice to me. And I’ve been a sarcastic, annoying drama queen, probably.”

Ben actually laughs, throwing his head back before quickly collecting himself, realizing where he was and the hour of the night.

“I wouldn’t think you were such. Though I don’t know entirely what ‘drama queen’ means, I am putting the pieces together.”

“Anyway though, I do owe you one. I really am sorry. I hope through all this we can be besties—friends. I’d like that, if that’s okay with you.”

Ben mulls it over for a moment, is heart beating in his ears so loudly he’s positive you can hear it, before answering your proposal with a firm nod.

“I’d like that as well.”

There’s a passing moment of silence, then Ben gathers the courage to ask one more question for the night.

“y/n,”

Your gaze lifts, meeting his, and he can’t help the way he nearly swoons over the way you look at him.

“If I can’t find a way to help you…whatever the situation may be,”

He counts off on agitated fingers.

“Confusion, illness, injury, time travel—“

A sigh escapes his chapped lips.

“What are you going to do?”

It’s what’s been keeping you awake, terribly sad and lonely. You want to burst into tears at the thought of it, but you didn’t feel right throwing some of that burden on Ben, especially after the meaningful moments you’ve just exchanged.

Instead, you shrug, swallowing down a building sob.

“Y’know, Ben, I hadn’t really thought about it.”

A sad smile finds its way to your cheeks.

“I trust you. And I trust that we’ll figure it out. Together.”

Your teeth sink slowly into your bottom lip, hesitant to touch him, but move forward all the same. Patting his hand softly, you hope your comforting motion is enough to get you through this conversation.

“I’m inclined to agree.”

He goes to say more, but you slink back down onto the cot, knees drawn to your chest as you grab at the warmth beneath the sheet.

“Good night, Ben,”

You try your best to say it without sounding too warbled.

“Sleep well, y/n.”

He pushes off the cot, and as he blows out the candle, the tent is enveloped in a darkness that you welcomed with open arms.

[roadrat420]

Love Flavored Snow

this is part one of my side story. hope you like it!

Winter again. Another year goes by and yet still you do not notice me. Maybe this will be the last. I can't accept rejection forever. Somehow I feel you are doing this to me on purpose yet I cannot bring myself to ask you to your face. Hair black as night, eyes deep as the void that slowly costumes my heart and mind. I feel I am slowly going insane. 

I want to touch your smooth, pale skin. I wish to brush my fingers through your silky smooth locks, to hold your hand, to proclaim my love in person…yet I cannot. If i do you would look at me with disgust and hatred for you do not know me like i know you. Maybe in another life you could accept me for who I am but I simply cannot believe that.

Finally I look up from my stupor, sitting outside the coffee shop you work at. My cortado now cold from the stinging winter air. It had started snowing, according to the forecast it would be dusting like this all week. They predict that we should get 3 feet of snow by the time its done. I swallow down the last of my coffee, toss my cup, and walk back into the shop.

The bell above the door chimes and the warm coffee filled air drifts over me. You smile and wave at me, I smile back. “Back for more, Charon?” you say, such a cheery tone in your voice. How I wish I could hear it all the time…but I can't. I love the way you say my name. The way it slides off your tongue. “Actually, Mara, I was hoping I could try your favorite drink.”

“Adventuros today are we? You’ve never strayed from your usual cortado.” she jokes as she begins making what I can only assume is a matcha cold foam. All I can do is nod. I feel my face burning but you cant notice the blush because of the wind bitten shade of pink my cheeks were from the cold. When it comes time to pay you stop me, saying it on the house cause i'm a regular. My fingers brush yours as I grab the cup. I feel the heat in my cheeks spread up to my forehead and down my neck.

I quickly turn and leave but not without stealing a glance at you as you move to the back of the store. I almost run as I head home, unable to stop thinking about how soft your sweet skin is. My little crush had rapidly turned into an obsession about 3 years ago. Finally reaching home I can't help but sigh as I lock my front door behind me. I had finished the drink on my way home, it tasted earthy and sweet all at the same time. It was a confusing flavor.

I set the cup in my kitchen counter, moving through my kitchen to the basement. It was almost ready. The stairs creak as I walk down, it smells stale and like the green tinted wood you can find in a home depot. I flick on the light and stand at the bottom of the stares, looking over my handiwork. In the middle of the room there's a post that runs from the ceiling to the floor. There is a chain locked around it. In the far corner of the room there's a queen sized bed with red bed sheets and big fluffy looking pillows that have matching covers on them.

There's a bathroom under the stairs that doesn't have a door. There's a curtain where the door would have been. In the bathroom is a toilet, a sink with a small mirror above it and a small shower. There isn't a curtain over the shower nor a door. While I think you should have some privacy, I don't think it should be too much. It's not like I haven't seen all of you anyway.

The walls have all been painted a nice shade of baby blue and the floor is hardwood. Though the basement is finished the floorboards creak and the walls are made of concrete. I want to be able to hear you move. I want to know your every move. The chain reaches all the corners of the room but it is too short to reach up the stairs. There's a single ankle cuff attached to the free side. I can't help but smile as an almost childish and giddy feeling creeps up my chest. It will be tonight. Tonight you will finally be mine and mine alone.

[firesofdainix]

i cant help but find it so funny that we're on like literal opposite time zones 😭 but anyway,,, have some fruit for that ask game :3

🍒🥝🫐🍊

I AM SO SORRY for taking so long to answer these asks. college is currently kicking my ASS so bad. <3

and i keep forgetting that where it's noon for ME, it's the middle of the night for you <3

fruit emoji ask game for fic writers

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)

my favorite dynamic, whether romantic, platonic, or a secret third thing to write, is definitely Jupiter and Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn, Saturn and Uranus, and Planet X, Jupiter and Saturn. so much romantic tension rolled into all pairs that I wonder if they're just going to start a poly make-out session. there's also Luna and Earth, I think Luna having to get Earth to stop doing stupid things all the time is so funny I giggle a little when Luna gets SO TIRED looking after him.

🥝 What’s your favorite trope/AO3 tag to write?

call me basic bitch, but my favorite trope is writing angst and hurt/comfort! i want those tears to be LICKED. or, I want them to keep crying, your pick! another thing I like writing about is canon compliant. i just want to see what others are doing during canon, filling in canon gaps. it's very interesting 2 me

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

UM UH UH. What's the most underrated thing in the solarballs fandom rn? I need more Titan fics that don't have Luna in them. I really don't care about them together LMAO I'm sorry. AND MORE JUPITURAX!!!

this'll be more multi-fandom: ok so I REALLY wish that there's more PTSD Ford Pines fics in Gravity Falls, and I guess about how much impact the Portal Incident had on him and his character as a whole? and I was dreaming last night of Ford with prosthetic legs, and I wish someone would write that bc I'm too stupid to do so- basically Ford fics about his time in the portal! or maybe I just inhaled ALL fics about Ford in a week immediately.

then for demon slayer... FANFIC WRITERS!!! DROP ANOTHER YORIICHI AND MICHIKATSU ONE SHOT AND MY LIFE IS YOURS.

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

I wish I could write more about Earth, and I have MANY ideas about what he is like when fics are centered about him, but I just don't know how to put it on paper. like, at all. so I just kick Jupiter in the guts :D!